Episode 183
Navigating the Journey of Self-Love: Insights from Tara Wiskow
The discourse presented in this podcast episode centers on the profound journey of self-discovery and the pivotal role of self-love in overcoming the challenges of codependency. Our esteemed guest, Tara Wiskow, an intuitive energy healer and life reinvention expert, elucidates her own transformative experiences, which underscore the necessity of embracing one’s authentic self. Through candid reflections, Tara shares her personal struggles, including the profound impact of weight and identity on her life, ultimately leading to her realization that self-acceptance is paramount. We delve into the societal pressures that often inhibit individuals, particularly women, from recognizing their worth and the importance of granting oneself permission to pursue personal happiness and fulfillment. This episode serves as a clarion call to listeners, encouraging them to embark on their own journeys of self-love and empowerment, thereby becoming the agents of change they seek within their lives.
https://www.facebook.com/BeTheChangeYouNeedToday
https://www.instagram.com/tara.wiskow/
https://www.tiktok.com/@tara_wiskow?_t=ZP-8tpbnaXsGkR&_r=1
Transcript
Foreign.
Speaker B:Welcome to the codependent me podcast.
Speaker B:I am your host, Tamela Shaw, a recovering codependent, the co author of God turn mommy's wine into water, and I'm a certified life coach.
Speaker B:On this podcast we discuss a lot of relevant topics.
Speaker B:But the podcast was created to increase the awareness of codependency and to give information on how to live a more holistic life.
Speaker B:Welcome to the codependent me podcast.
Speaker B:I am your host, Tamela Shaw.
Speaker B:Today we have someone who is dear to my heart, a sister from another Mr. And I feel so, so close to her.
Speaker B:And I just met her.
Speaker B:So we have Tara Wisco.
Speaker B:Welcome to the show.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker A:Thank you so much.
Speaker A:Yes, we just met and I feel like I've known you all my life and I'm disappointed that I have not known you all my life.
Speaker B:Right, I know.
Speaker A:Thank you for having me today.
Speaker B:Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker B:So you are an intuitive energy healer and a life reinvention expert.
Speaker A:Yes, ma'.
Speaker A:Am.
Speaker B:So tell us a little bit about you and you know how, how that path to what you're doing now.
Speaker A:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker A:I'd love to.
Speaker A:So a little bit about me as, as to Mela Said.
Speaker A:I'm Tara Wisco.
Speaker A:I live in northern Minnesota, and as an intuitive healer, I work with women.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:That is my jam.
Speaker A:In my company, be the change you need.
Speaker A:And working in that energy space of healing, it's helping step into their unapologetic self love space in order to fully live authentically, which is something that I've struggled to do the majority of my life.
Speaker A:And that's my passion.
Speaker A:You know, I just recently got into human design a little bit, just learning it.
Speaker A:And I realized like, that is why my, my company, my business, my, my gifts are what I live and do every day and breathe is because that's just, that is my full on purpose to be here.
Speaker A:So that's, that's what I do in that space.
Speaker A:I'm also on my podcast, be the change you need.
Speaker A:And I'm putting out high vibrancy and frequency out there into the world for all women that are just looking to boldly create the life that they desire to live.
Speaker A:I'm a mom of three boys that are all graduated.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Some days I question if I'm mature enough to have three graduated boys, but my, my fur babies at home and my chickens, they keep me busy.
Speaker A:So that's a little bit about me.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:Oh, I love chickens, let me just say.
Speaker B:I mean, the pets, like, is what I'm talking about.
Speaker A:Yes, they're my babies.
Speaker B:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker B:So I love that you work with women because we, as you know, just even when we were little girls, we were taught that we are the nurturers.
Speaker B:And, you know, sometimes we have to give up some of the things that we want for other people or, you know, we have to be the ones to uplift and all of these things.
Speaker B:And sometimes we lose.
Speaker B:Well, we haven't had an opportunity to find ourselves because everybody's telling us who we're supposed to be before we have the opportunity to know who we're supposed to be.
Speaker B:So for you to work with women so that they can be their authentic selves, you know, that's wonderful.
Speaker B:We were even talking about pre show how there were certain feelings that we had within ourselves on different things that we felt as though we needed to do.
Speaker B:But it was something that came on later, later in life, and we still at that point had to give ourselves permission to do it, Right?
Speaker A:Yes, yes.
Speaker A:And it didn't come naturally, Right.
Speaker A:I shouldn't say that it was naturally within us because that is who we decided were created to be.
Speaker A:However, it wasn't just a natural process of allowing us to become or to give ourselves permission.
Speaker A:If you're anything like me, it was kicking and screaming into it.
Speaker B:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker A:Finding all the reasons why I shouldn't and why I couldn't and how it was going to disappoint everybody else and how it was going to cause me to lose people that I love and put me in this state of abandonment.
Speaker A:And then finally, when I had no other choice, because God, the universe, the higher power, whoever you speak to is pounding on the door saying, okay, girl, like your head's going in the door and we're gonna shut real hard if you don't just decide to step through the door.
Speaker A:Like something's gotta give, right?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:That's typically the experience that I have working with women is they've fought it for so long.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And they just have to give themselves permission, but they don't know how.
Speaker A:And more than not knowing how they're terr to be able to do that.
Speaker A:They just need the love and the acceptance and the guidance and the help of learning why they deserve it and how to allow themselves to bring it into their lives.
Speaker A:It's an amazing journey.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:So I'm pretty sure there's a woman probably and a man too, that's listening and they're thinking, wow, you know, I've had these thoughts that I may not feel 100% comfortable in where I am.
Speaker B:I have had these thoughts about what if I do this, you know, how.
Speaker B:How can I give myself permission?
Speaker B:Like, what do you feel as though the first step in making that reality would be?
Speaker A:I feel like the first step always in anything is awareness.
Speaker A:Knowing that that's something that's vibrating within you.
Speaker A:It's not there on accident.
Speaker A:Nothing shows up in our headspace, in our soul, in our heart, in our.
Speaker A:In our minds ever, if it's not meant to be within us.
Speaker A:So the very first step is awareness of that.
Speaker A:And the second would be don't shut it out.
Speaker A:Get curious.
Speaker A:Get curious about it.
Speaker A:Why is it there?
Speaker A:What feelings are coming forward?
Speaker A:Grab a pen.
Speaker A:There's power in your pen.
Speaker A:Start to journal around it and shut out your mind.
Speaker B:Our.
Speaker A:Our left brain is completely.
Speaker A:Our analytical, logical have to know everything.
Speaker A:Dot every I.
Speaker A:There is no creativity in left brain at all.
Speaker A:Our right brain is full on creativity.
Speaker A:And so it's telling our left brain, it's okay to just be silent.
Speaker A:It's okay to let me be me.
Speaker A:I'm safe in this because that left brain wants to keep you safe.
Speaker A:And just let it know I'm safe.
Speaker A:I'm just getting to know me and I need to understand me in order to step into the happiness, to step into the safe life that I desire to live.
Speaker A:And when you start to journal around that and understand who it is that is coming forward, that's where you begin to understand exactly who you're meant to be and why that's who you're meant to be.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:So most people who are doing this phenomenal work, we've all gone through something.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:And I know that you've had some cancer scares.
Speaker A:Mm.
Speaker B:Well, not plural, but you've had a cancer scare.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You've been on this beautiful weight loss journey.
Speaker B:You look phenomenal.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:And I want to encourage the audience to go on your Instagram.
Speaker B:You have the best information on there.
Speaker B:You see your transformation and you can just see.
Speaker B:And I am not against you.
Speaker B:I'm not.
Speaker B:I'm not thin.
Speaker B:You know, if.
Speaker B:If people are happy wherever they are, that's.
Speaker B:That's good, right?
Speaker B:However, it's the transformation on the inside that shows in your pictures.
Speaker A:Oh, thank you.
Speaker B:So can you tell the audience a bit about that?
Speaker A:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker A:It's been a number of years.
Speaker A:It's so wild to me how I can not remember parts of who I was when I was that woman at 338 pounds.
Speaker A:And I've always said, I never want to forget where I came from.
Speaker A:Because the minute that I forget that, then I've disconnected myself from my journey and who I was and why I became who I am today.
Speaker A:So my youngest son just turned 19.
Speaker A:So that would mean 17 years ago, I started this journey of losing weight.
Speaker A:And it was a journey that had been a very long journey.
Speaker A:It started when I was a junior in high school.
Speaker A:I was diagnosed with medullary thyroid cancer, which is the cancer that my dad had passed away from.
Speaker A:And so in a month's time, I put on a lot of weight.
Speaker A:I went up three pant sizes in a month's time.
Speaker A:And I was young and dating.
Speaker A:I was engaged in my junior year of high school.
Speaker A:So very young doctors said, it's just lifestyle.
Speaker A:It's just lifestyle.
Speaker A:You found love.
Speaker A:It's all good.
Speaker A:The day before our wedding, which would have been right after I graduated, that's when I found out that I had medullary thyroid cancer.
Speaker A:All was well, always contained, thyroid removed, were okay.
Speaker A:Years later, down the road, I'm at 338 pound 338.
Speaker A:And, you know, the weight was a struggle in itself, but deeper than that was the despair and the guilt and the shame of feeling how I felt and not being the mom.
Speaker A:Not being the mom that I always dreamt of being.
Speaker A:I wanted to be this mom that was in every facet of her children's lives.
Speaker A:And I have three boys.
Speaker A:They're in every facet that they can be, right?
Speaker A:And so I became the park benchmark.
Speaker A:And on at the park, I wasn't able to be on the swings or the slides or the equipment because of my size.
Speaker A:And so I would sit on the bench and I'd let all these other moms that were fit and were active, they would take them under their wings and they would.
Speaker A:They would allow my boys to have the best time at the park.
Speaker A:And one day, I hadn't gotten us up and going before everybody else left.
Speaker A:And it was just the boys and I.
Speaker A:And they wanted to play their favorite game, which is a swing game, where they're swinging and I'm running between them so that it's like I.
Speaker A:They miss me or I miss them.
Speaker A:It's just the adrenaline and the excitement of it and the screams and the glee.
Speaker A:I mean, it's just so fun.
Speaker A:And on this particular day, I tripped.
Speaker A:So it was my oldest son, Trevor, and then youngest son Trustin, and then middle son Trey.
Speaker A:That's the order of the swings.
Speaker A:And on this day, I tripped After I got past Trevor and trustin at the age of 2 years old, slammed into me and the force of him slamming into my body, his feet hit me, he flipped backwards and it knocked him unconscious and it cracked his head open.
Speaker A:That, that was a moment that everything came to a screeching halt.
Speaker A:Truston and was fine staples that he's very proud of in his head.
Speaker A:But I, as a mom was in complete despair that I'd.
Speaker A:I'd done that, that I'd gotten to that level and I wasn't the mom that I wanted and thought I was going to be.
Speaker A:And I tried weight loss and all things.
Speaker A:Doctor prescribed, Internet suggested, friend recommended.
Speaker A:I tried all these supplements.
Speaker A:Yo yo dieted.
Speaker A:Nothing worked.
Speaker A:And so I began to utilize and use the.
Speaker A:In this, I say utilize and use, and I don't think that's really the word, but eating disorders.
Speaker A:I started to struggle with eating disorders.
Speaker A:And when that didn't work well, when that didn't give me what I wanted and actually increased my mental health issues, I became suicidal.
Speaker A:And so the third and final suicide attempt is the day that everything shifted for me.
Speaker A:Everything shifted when my middle son walked in and found me and asked me, are you going to die, mama?
Speaker A:And I knew that the answer was yes or it was no.
Speaker A:And either way, it couldn't be a lie.
Speaker A:And so I said no.
Speaker A:And that's the first moment that I think I really realized that I had an intuitive download from God, from the universe, the higher power again, who you speak to.
Speaker A:Because very clearly, all of a sudden I heard, tara, you have got to learn to love yourself as much as you love your boys.
Speaker A:That's your only way out.
Speaker A:That was a moment I realized I tried everything but loving myself down the scale.
Speaker A:And that's what shifted.
Speaker A:That's the day that everything shifted.
Speaker A:And 220 pounds later, I am who I am.
Speaker A:And I've been a weight loss coach for over 11 years and recently stepped into the space of being an intuitive energy healer.
Speaker A:Weight loss and coaching in that space will always be in my being.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:But that's just a little bit of the journey of what I've been through.
Speaker B:Yes, I love that.
Speaker B:Again, you know, we always.
Speaker B:You have to have been somewhere.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:And you know you can.
Speaker B:People can look at you.
Speaker B:I know there's people listening, going, oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:I know that.
Speaker B:I know that feeling going to the park or I know that feeling going to the jump place with my children.
Speaker B:I know that feeling to have friends or other like mommy Mates that have to go around and do with the children while I sit.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:So it hit me in the heart.
Speaker B:So I know.
Speaker B:I know there are people that are listening that can definitely understand and have that feeling.
Speaker B:So I want them to know that you do the coaching and they can go to Tara Wiscow W I S K O w dot com and you have information on there, you know how you can assist and all of those beautiful things.
Speaker B:And again, she's on Facebook, Instagram, Tik tok.
Speaker B:Please go check all of her information out because it is phenomenal.
Speaker A:Okay, thank you.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:Of course, of course.
Speaker B:So your dad.
Speaker B:Do you mind about your dad?
Speaker A:No, not at all.
Speaker A:Not at all.
Speaker A:Yes, my dad.
Speaker A:So I was 8 years old.
Speaker A:It was Easter.
Speaker A:It was my birthday, family was over.
Speaker A:And my aunt, who's developmentally delayed, walked up and she said, tara Lynn, I saw your dad today.
Speaker A:I said, you know, I'm eight.
Speaker A:I'm like, yeah, I know he's in the house.
Speaker A:Like, that's a weird conversation.
Speaker A:And she said, not your dad, Jr. Silly.
Speaker A:Your dad, Bruce.
Speaker A:I didn't have a dad Bruce, that I was aware of.
Speaker A:So I remember walking in and we had a family friend that was always over for everything.
Speaker A:He wasn't married, didn't have kids, and he was just this amazing guy, and his name happened to be Bruce.
Speaker A:So I thought that that was my dad when I walked in.
Speaker A:And I remember walking in, my mom was making mashed potatoes and the house is full.
Speaker A:And I said, is that my dad?
Speaker A:And I'll never forget the smack on the face that I got and pushed out the door and told to go play.
Speaker A:And, you know, my mom was absolutely shocked.
Speaker A:This was a big secret that was being kept.
Speaker A:She had her own fears of telling me the truth of who my dad was.
Speaker A:And I'm.
Speaker A:She's like, where and how and why and what.
Speaker B:What has happened?
Speaker A:How.
Speaker A:How did you find this out?
Speaker A:And poor Bruce is sitting there on the bench, like, what?
Speaker A:Like, how did.
Speaker A:Like, the poor guy's terrified.
Speaker A:And so that day, I.
Speaker A:At 8 years old, things started to come together for me.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:Every family picture.
Speaker A:If you can't.
Speaker A:If you look at my Facebook or Instagram or Tik Tok, you'll see me.
Speaker A:I am dark hair, brown eyes and darker complexion.
Speaker A:Every single one of my family pictures with my mom and my dad and my two sisters, who are very Swedish, Norwegian looking very blonde and blue eyes.
Speaker A:I did not at all fit in.
Speaker A:But I did not realize that until that day, until that Day when it was brought into my.
Speaker A:Into my mind that I was different in some way.
Speaker A:And so not only did my.
Speaker A:My image begin to make me pause and wonder if I belonged, but also my personal.
Speaker A:I have a louder voice, just my humor, all those things.
Speaker A:And I started to really.
Speaker A:This is where the identity shifting comes in and why I'm an expert at it is because at the age of eight, I started to shift myself to be good enough.
Speaker A:Because I was terrified that if I didn't look more like them, act more like them, that I would be abandoned, I'd be rejected.
Speaker A:And so at the age of 12, I finally found the courage to meet my dad.
Speaker A:And I'll be honest, I only met him because he was dying of cancer.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:That was my.
Speaker A:My grandma.
Speaker A:His mom continued to say, tarylin, I need you to come.
Speaker A:I need you to meet him.
Speaker A:We don't know how much time is left.
Speaker A:And so I made that trek with her, five hours away, to meet my biological dad and three sisters that live, that I never met, didn't know existed.
Speaker A:And Tamala, when I got out of that vehicle and I looked at that man standing in that yard, I'll still remember this.
Speaker A:At 12 years old, I was looking at a mirror of myself.
Speaker A:The eyes, the hair, the cowlick, the knees, the toes.
Speaker B:Go.
Speaker A:I found who gave me.
Speaker A:I found the person to blame, but I also found the personality.
Speaker A:I found the twerky like.
Speaker A:Like just me and all the quirks.
Speaker A:And I felt like I belonged.
Speaker A:But yet at the same time, I shifted my identity again to be able to be accepted and allowed to stay.
Speaker A:Because what if I said or did something wrong?
Speaker A:He would just send me packing and tell me he didn't want me anymore.
Speaker A:Because that is what happened before I was born.
Speaker A:He said, it's not mine.
Speaker A:Don't want it.
Speaker A:Abort it.
Speaker A:Get rid of it.
Speaker A:He's young.
Speaker A:They were.
Speaker A:They were 21 and.
Speaker A:And really, really too young to be parents.
Speaker A:And at the age of 15, he.
Speaker A:He passed.
Speaker A:I got to have him for three years in my life and I. I lost him.
Speaker A:And at that moment of losing him, I once again felt like I was abandoned.
Speaker A:But I also felt like he was rejecting me because he wasn't going to stay.
Speaker A:And it.
Speaker A:It really brought me into a really hard time in my life of turning to, like, relationships at the age of 15, thinking that I had to have some man in my life.
Speaker A:And if I had a boy that liked me, well, then I was good enough.
Speaker A:If I had a boy that loved me, well, Then it filled that daddy void.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Even though I had my stepdad, Junior, who is my dad and will always be my dad, that I'm so blessed and I love him to the end of the earth, that is a man that has taught me so much.
Speaker A:I still felt like my real dad had left and abandoned me, so put me into a spiral of trying to find love in all the wrong ways, which is why I was engaged at the age of 17 and married at 20 and.
Speaker A:And divorced later.
Speaker B:But, yeah, that's why I wanted you to tell the story.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for sharing, because when you said that you were engaged early, I figured that that was a part of it, Right?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Because even though you have the stepdad in house and, you know, that's fantastic, there is still something about having that biological.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:That lack of connection.
Speaker A:Right, right, right.
Speaker B:And I don't.
Speaker B:I don't know why that happens, to be honest.
Speaker B:And again, as I was telling you before the show, we have so many things in common because I grew up with my stepfather and I met my biological early, but there was.
Speaker B:It was not pleasant.
Speaker B:So I reconnected at 22, and he died of cancer about 10 years later.
Speaker B:So that's what I'm like.
Speaker B:And I was, you know, engaged early, had children early, you know, all of those things.
Speaker B:So even though that's why listening to your body, it really makes a difference, because even though you have that person, that loving, loving person that is there, your body knows something is off, even if you don't recognize it.
Speaker B:You know, so true.
Speaker B:If you didn't.
Speaker B:If you.
Speaker B:If.
Speaker B:If it weren't the case, we wouldn't still have.
Speaker B:Because I still have abandonment issues.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And it was because he was like, don't want her.
Speaker B:You know, even when I look at my birth certificate, his name is typed on there because my mom had to go to court, do the, you know, the.
Speaker B:The testing and all of that.
Speaker B:So it's almost like a trigger.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because everyone else is.
Speaker B:You got the signature and, you know, all of these beautiful things.
Speaker B:And mine is typed on the day that the court resolved the issue.
Speaker B:The issue.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:The issue, right.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So I thank you for sharing that because it.
Speaker B:I want people to know that it all.
Speaker B:It all comes together.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:It does.
Speaker B:You have come together and built this beautiful company called Be the change you need.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Can you tell us about that?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker A:You know, I have to be honest.
Speaker A:And I also want to say thank you for sharing your side of it, because not only.
Speaker A:I mean, that's vulnerable of you to share it, but it shows your listeners that there are so many of us that come together that have similar stories, that we're not alone.
Speaker A:We're not alone in this.
Speaker A:So thank you for that.
Speaker A:Be the change you need.
Speaker A:And honestly, I've had a lot of, like, struggle of finding my space.
Speaker A:We were talking about that before the show.
Speaker A:Like, I've always felt like I don't belong and I don't fit in and all these things.
Speaker A:And it just comes down to being a healer, and I'm not supposed to be in one spot, right?
Speaker A:So be the change you need.
Speaker A:Came as I was scooping out chicken poop out of the coop.
Speaker A:One more.
Speaker A:I was frustrated, trying to figure out, like, where am I supposed to be?
Speaker A:What am I supposed to be doing?
Speaker A:Why can I figure this out?
Speaker A:I'm in my 40s, like, what in the world is going on?
Speaker A:And all of a sudden, out of nowhere.
Speaker A:Be the change you need.
Speaker A:And I stopped, and I was like, what?
Speaker B:What?
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:You know, like, talking to myself and the chickens that will respond.
Speaker A:And I heard every single time you changed something in your life, you became the change that was needed, and that's what shifted it.
Speaker A:And I still get goosebumps to this day every time I remember that.
Speaker A:And so instantly, I knew.
Speaker A:But then in the moment, I was like, well, I'm going to go on.
Speaker A:On the big old, you know, search engine Google, and it's going to be gone.
Speaker A:It's going to be gone and taken.
Speaker A:It wasn't.
Speaker A:I could not believe it.
Speaker A:Nobody claimed it, right?
Speaker A:So I knew in that moment, I'm like, all right, there we go.
Speaker A:Be the change you need.
Speaker A:And just recently working with a speaking coach, because I'm stepping back out on the stages and getting out there to share my message.
Speaker A:My speaking coach said, tara, why have you not, like, honed in the vibe of bitching?
Speaker A:And I thought, well, okay, I know I've got a hard edge.
Speaker A:I know that I say what needs to be said, but this is going real far.
Speaker A:And she said, be the change you need is B, T, C, H, Y, N bitching.
Speaker A:And I am just in love with it.
Speaker A:That vibe of being bitching of being the change that you need in order to become who you desire.
Speaker A:And where this all comes from is that we.
Speaker A:And we've touched on this already.
Speaker A:We wait for.
Speaker A:For permission to change.
Speaker A:We wait to be given the baton placed into hands, to be then said, okay, now.
Speaker A:Now you can become who you want to be.
Speaker A:Now you can stop the abuse.
Speaker A:Now you can speak up.
Speaker A:Now you can evolve.
Speaker A:And until we're given that baton or that.
Speaker A:That piece of permission, we stay.
Speaker A:We stay there.
Speaker A:And I did that the majority of my life.
Speaker A:And I realized that when we decide that, we're going to be bitching that we are no longer waiting for the baton because the damn baton is already in our hand.
Speaker A:And we've already claimed the power that has always been within us.
Speaker A:We just were not willing or able to see it.
Speaker A:And we are being the change that we need in order to create the life that we want.
Speaker A:That's what I want for women.
Speaker A:We're not waiting anymore.
Speaker A:We're not waiting to be happy.
Speaker A:No more of this.
Speaker A:We do not have to wait until we are in our 50s, post menopause.
Speaker A:We just lost our mind through that time frame to say, I'm finally happy.
Speaker A:Hell to the no.
Speaker A:We're starting in our twenties.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:We will be so loyal to the weight of permission when we don't need it externally.
Speaker B:No, do that thing.
Speaker A:Do that thing.
Speaker A:That external validation is the biggest killer of all joy in life.
Speaker A:And it stems from our childhood.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:It's our inner child just needing to hear the things that she or he needs to hear.
Speaker A:I am good enough.
Speaker A:I am worthy.
Speaker A:I am lovable.
Speaker A:I am wanted.
Speaker A:And it's waiting for that little external factor that gives us the proof that we can step forward.
Speaker A:It's like those games that you play on the playground, and they're picking.
Speaker A:I pick you, and I pick you.
Speaker A:And you're always, if your name is Tara, the last one picked, because.
Speaker A:No, who knows?
Speaker A:I was the fastest runner.
Speaker A:I was a good kicker, but I was always the last one.
Speaker A:Probably because I'm quirky and weird.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:But that's okay.
Speaker A:That is perfect.
Speaker B:It is absolutely perfect.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And I love that.
Speaker B:And I love the work that you're doing out here with people, with women, because we need it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's so needed.
Speaker B:And I cannot wait to be able to say to someone, get out there and start bitching.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Get out there and start being the change that you need.
Speaker B:Get up there and start bitching.
Speaker B:That's what it is.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker B:I know that you have an appointment.
Speaker B:10 minutes.
Speaker B:So we're gonna start wrapping it up, because guess what?
Speaker B:I could talk to you all day long.
Speaker A:Same.
Speaker A:I'd invite you to Minnesota, but.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'm thinking, you don't want this weather.
Speaker B:Just come on down to Nashville.
Speaker B:We'll have you, you know, know, we'll go downtown, have some coffee and some dinner and, you know, hang out, do some walking around.
Speaker B:It'll be good.
Speaker B:Yes, but it's gonna be hot.
Speaker B:It's hot already.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So I want the audience to go to Tara Wisco W I S K-O-W.com Find your voice.
Speaker B:She can help you find your voice so that you can be authentic to you.
Speaker B:Do the things that you need to do for you.
Speaker B:If you wake up with like, I remember I woke up one day and I started.
Speaker B:I was getting dressed, and I was like, I'm about to go buy a building.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:That is awesome.
Speaker B:I still don't have the money for the building, but I know it's coming.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Got it.
Speaker A:Got it.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Because just sometimes things show up.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I believe in those things that show up.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:When I learned about the codependency, God told me, you have been training for this your whole life.
Speaker B:That is where this whole codependent me came from.
Speaker B:It is a gift.
Speaker B:It allows me to be authentically who I am.
Speaker B: And one day, I: Speaker A:Yes, you will.
Speaker B:Because I've given myself permission to walk the walk that I'm supposed to.
Speaker B:To walk.
Speaker B:I've accepted to go out here and start bitching.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:I will be the change that I need.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:I see what I mean out of you.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Thank you so much.
Speaker B:And I am proud of you.
Speaker B:Because when you say be the change you need, I see it all over your face.
Speaker B:I see the love for you and the change that you're making for the world.
Speaker B:You brought this beautiful.
Speaker B:I call it baby together, right?
Speaker B:This child that.
Speaker B:That will go out here and do wonderful things in the earth.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:I'm so proud.
Speaker B:I'm so grateful.
Speaker B:I feel like we'll know each other forever.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:I hope so.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Ah.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:So I ask all of my guests if they could give the audience one last nugget, what would it be?
Speaker A:Oh, I always love.
Speaker A:Hate this question.
Speaker A:Because one nugget is the hardest thing for me.
Speaker A:One nugget, I'm going to say, is listen to yourself.
Speaker A:Rather than when you know that something needs to shift and change, rather than asking somebody else what you.
Speaker A:They think you should do, I want you to just ask yourself what you want to do.
Speaker A:Let yourself give yourself the.
Speaker A:The knowledge you've got it within you.
Speaker A:It's already there.
Speaker A:You're smart enough, you are powerful enough, you are good enough exactly as you are to give yourself the knowledge that you need.
Speaker A:Follow that.
Speaker A:Listen to your heart, Listen to your own intuitive inner being, and you will be guided in the exact direction that you need to go.
Speaker A:And I speak to you from the woman that stood in front of the mirror at 338 pounds, who hated herself so much.
Speaker A:And I learned in that moment, as I stood there completely naked and I embodied every bit of my body, and I looked in my eyes and I said, I love you, Tara.
Speaker A:I am proud of you, and I'm grateful that I get to be you.
Speaker A:And I have said that for years, 220 pounds of years of saying that.
Speaker A:And that's what I want you to do for yourself.
Speaker A:That's my piece of advice.
Speaker B:Oh, that is phenomenal.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:Because everything that we need is within us.
Speaker B:It completely is.
Speaker B:And guess what?
Speaker B:If you get it wrong, you were supposed to get it wrong.
Speaker B:It's what it is.
Speaker B:It's okay.
Speaker B:It is okay.
Speaker B:We are not perfect, right?
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for being on the show.
Speaker A:Thank you for having me.
Speaker B:We'll have to have you back again.
Speaker B:This has just been phenomenal.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:It has been.
Speaker A:I look forward to it.
Speaker A:And I think that I should bring you on my podcast as well, because my listeners need to hear you.
Speaker B:Yes, I would love that audience.
Speaker B:I want you to know that you could have chosen, chosen any podcast, but you chose this one.
Speaker B:And I am grateful.
Speaker B:And I want you to remember that you matter and your story matters.
Speaker B:And until next time, me and Tara are gonna say goodbye.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker A:Bye.
Speaker B:I truly understand that time is valuable, so thanks for listening.
Speaker B:Be sure to check us out on our Facebook page, like us on Instagram website codependentme.org and if you need a coach, email me@codependentmeutlook.com.
